Banks to Make Customers Pay Fee for Debit Card Use: New York Times

Most merchants cried this isn’t fair

Debit charges are too much to bear

Congress did agree

To outlaw this fee

Now the little guys pay the whole fare

Last-meal requests come to an end on Texas death row: Houston Chronicle

If you are planning to off a dude

Avoiding Texas would be so shrewd

It’s just surreal

For your last meal

They’ll only serve the usual food

Federal prosecutors call Full Tilt Poker 'a global Ponzi scheme': L.A. Times

Full Tilt Poker held funds with false surety

While players gambled on in obscurity

But the Feds muscled in

Said in order to win

Put your money on Social Security

Dissatisfaction with Congress matches record: Boston Globe

While Congress steeps in venom and graft

The country continues to get the shaft

Of them we have wearied

Say most folks when queried

Except for the few certifiably daft

For women, moderate midlife drinking linked to healthier old age: USA Today

A stout gal who lived out on the prairies

Was raised only on drinks from choice dairies

But shocked by the news

Of the wonders of booze

She soon daily drank two Bloody Marys

Woman's breast implant explodes during paintball: L.A.Times

This gal with an impressive rack

For paintball she sure had a knack

She played with much pluck

But forgot to duck

Now one breast is way out of whack